Friendships are hard, right? I know this from my own experiences both from when I was growing up and even now as an adult.  They seem easy when things are going well, but when you hit a sticky spot or bump in the road, the test comes and you are reminded that relationships in general are not always easy. They are work. You have to be intentional. As an adult and mom of five and wife to one,you better believe friendships are work.  They won’t make time for themselves, you have to be intentional or have fewer friends!

The Bible has a lot to say about friendships. I believe because the Lord knew how hard they can be and that we would need wisdom and guidance in order to maintain our friendships.  One of my favorites from the Word is Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.  It says, “two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.  But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”   Proverbs 17:17 is another favorite.  “A friend loves at all times…”  There is also this very pertinent nugget:  Do not be misled: bad company corrupts good character 1 Corinthians 15:33.   We know the Word is full of truth and wisdom so it’s the first place to go when you need advice on friendships.  But here is something you will learn about me if you get to know me.  I love words. I love quotes. I love signs with great quotes and words from the wise.  The walls that line my stair case are covered in pretty little word/quote signs.   You can search friendship quotes and find an endless number of quotes and memes on the topic.   Some are funny and light.  Some are heavy and sad because they speak to the failed friendships.  As a mother of five children, three of those being teenage girls, I’ve witnessed many rides on the friendship roller coaster as you might imagine.  I’ve had plenty of my own experiences that hurt my heart, but what is even harder sometimes is to watch your children hurt from the jolts and bolts and crazy twist of the friendship coaster.   I often see in my own children an attribute that I have seen many times in myself. Often, I find that I have a much bigger love for someone else than they have for me.    That’s not all bad, just makes the heart break worse when things hit a hard place.  If there is one thing that I would love for my girls ( and one boy because even in his early years he loves his friends) to learn much earlier in life than I have is  to not continue to chase after anyone who does not value you or want to spend time with you.   If you feel disposable to them, then do not continue to pursue something that isn’t mutual.  That would save a lot of heartache if they could just learn that sooner rather than later.  Especially before they start dating. None of  mine have really dated yet and I can’t say that it makes me sad. I do not look forward to the day I walk beside them through their first heart break from a dating relationship.  However, I’ve been there too so hopefully I will have some word of comfort to wrap around them when that time comes…because it will come,  right?  I don’t know too many people that managed to draw the get out of jail free card on that one.  I guess the hard parts help us to better recognize the good things and learn lessons that will help us out the in the next relationship. If you know me well at all  you know this is starting to feel a little heavy, so I’m going to lighten it up for you with the story of the beginnings of my daughter’s relationship with her best friend.

My second daughter is a senior this year so as I am getting my business off the ground, I’m thankful to have her and her friends to be my 2018 senior portrait models.  Tonight I took them to one of my favorite shoot locations and took some friend photographs as well as individual senior pictures.  This post on friendship came to me as I was editing their pictures and looking into the beautiful faces of my daughters’ friends.  Sweet girls, and this daughter in particular has really stayed on the kiddie park rides in her friendships so far.  She keeps her circle small and less risky.  In fact, one of these girls has remained her best friend for 5 years.  In teenage girls friendships, I believe we can count those years kinda like we do dog years because those are some really tough friendship years.  Especially if you consider the beginnings of the friendship.  My first memory of KB spending time with our family should have sent her running and made Kaitlyn the laughing stock of her class because of her  mother… but it didn’t.  We had taken KB to the Keifer fireworks show with our family.  It was wonderful, but the whole hoopla lasts several hours and draws a very large crowd for a town that is usually very small.  So, when it is over and time to leave, you have to wait a really long time to get out of there because the traffic is so terrible the police have to direct the whole thing.  The problem that arises is that my bladder is about the size of a thimble I believe and well…it was really full and we were trapped in the area we parked in with NO BATHROOMS ANYWHERE near.  NO WHERE.  No trees to hide behind….NOTHING to help a girl out.  It got so bad that I decided I had two choices.  One, let my bladder rupture ( not a good option) or two, I was just going to have to pee in the little Steinmart sack I found in my car.  Now my car at the time was a Honda Odyssey mini van.   Keep in mind how the passenger doors of a minivan open…and how when you open those doors, the lights in the cabin of the car come on…you will need this visual.  So I get to the point I’m in severe pain and need to go with option two or die.  So I announce to the girls what is going to have to happen.  Unfortunately, even though I love to wear dresses, this time I was in shorts.  This means I had to fully disrobe from the waste down to save my bladder from rupturing.  The girls close their eye, I disrobe from the waste down and position the tiny Steinmart sack in place to relieve my bladder.  It was painful but finally successful.  UNTIL I REALIZED THE BAG HAD A SMALL HOLE AND WAS LEAKING.  So without really thinking I open the door to throw the bag out of my car and the lights in the cabin come on.  YIKES.  We all know that those lights in cabin of our vehicles don’t immediately go off when we close the door either.  So lots of commotion while I’m half naked holding a leaking bag of pee in an area that is packed out with other people in their cars.  I think at this point the girls were laughing so hard they couldn’t see anything anyway.  All that to say, if KB continued to come around after that before she was even fully invested in the relationship, I believe she will always be one of Kaitlyn’s very best friends.   If not, we can always blame it on my shenanigans from five years ago.

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend.  Someone who changes your life just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can’t stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting on you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you’re down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full.   Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times, and the confused times.  If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows.    If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on.  Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry. You have a forever friend and forever has no end.

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